Blood, Whiskey, & History

I took a DNA test and found out I'm white lol lol lol Blood, whiskey, and history -- why history?  Not because I am a historian, but because I was on to something when I chose to become one -- I probably didn't fully understand it at the time, but my choice of discipline was intimately related to the need nearly all of us feel to be a part of something larger. Religion at the time was not an option, neither really was politics; but once I discovered that what I thought to be mere idiosyncrasies within myself or, at the most, related to the society of my own lifespan, were actually connected to people generations ago, even hundreds of years ago: well, that provided me with a release from alienation and a type of self-knowledge not reliant upon my own ego. Here I was, learning that I was a part of something larger; that we all are, whether we like it or not.  But thinking through how this truth relates to my spirituality has not been easy. The temptation  common today is to const

I am a 30something academic working and living in California. I am an atheist, a dog lover, a leftist, and a pagan. I've started this open journal because as I move through this spiritual journey, I want to create a place to record that journey; which necessarily turns into a part of the journey itself. All my life I've been a writer, so this is a great way for me to pursue and share.  Sharing is particularly important; when I discovered there was such a thing as atheopaganism (or nontheist-paganism), that has its own community, publications, art and discussions I was elated. I had already been trying to enter into paganism for months but felt alienated and insecure because for me, believing in literal gods and goddesses and other supernatural phenomena was just not an option. So what was I doing? Did it have meaning?, or was it either ridiculous or masquerading? Discovering the depth and breadth of those who already understood their spirituality in the terms of paganism and at